Two a few–letter terms: “but” and “and.” In grammatical conditions, they are identified as conjunctions. They bridge two clauses of a solitary sentence collectively. In conversation (and negotiation), these words are refined manipulators of exclusion or inclusion. Generally talking, “but” excludes, denies, discounts or in some way rejects the previous clause. For illustration, the statement “she is a quite productive personnel but she can be a little bit demanding” is subtly distinctive than “she is a extremely successful staff and she can be a little bit demanding.” In the initial case in point, the “but” tends to express a negation of the to start with clause of the sentence in favor of the second clause of the sentence. In the future illustration, the “and” tends to express an inclusion of the initial clause along with the second clause.
Acquire an additional instance: “Of course I have an understanding of you have to have to fulfill with me ahead of tomorrow’s meeting but my program is packed entire” vs. “I Yes I have an understanding of you need to satisfy with me right before tomorrow’s conference and my timetable is packed complete.” In this example, by making use of “and” rather of “but” the speaker not only avoids negating the initial clause but also conveys to the listener that his/her fears about needing to meet are acknowledged.
Working with “and” is also a substantially softer way to say no. For example, the standard “of course, but” can very easily be changed with “indeed, and.” For case in point, the ask for “We want to invest in new pcs” can be responded to with “sure I know, but we won’t be able to right up until subsequent year” or “certainly I know, and we won’t be able to right until future calendar year.” The “and” does not negate the “certainly” whereas the “but” does are likely to convey a perception of canceling out that which preceded the “but.”
The use of “but” is terribly frequent. In reality, handful of folks truly figure out the delicate impact of making use of but. If you have been to consciously endeavor to transform “but” to “and” in your speaking, you will detect how odd it feels. But, it is a worthwhile exercise if for no other reason than to come to be more cozy with the potential to swap from just one to the other. Nevertheless, there can be a extra vital motive: employing “and” as a substitute of “but” can positively impact dialogue. When using “and” rather of “but” there is a sense of inclusion and acceptance even if the summary is a denial or refusal.
Attempt it out over the upcoming numerous days. Hear to others’ sentences and when you hear “but” alter it in your individual mind to “and.” Then, start listening to your own sentences. When you hear on your own about to say “but” modify it to “and” but don’t forget one thing…oops…and don’t forget just one issue…